|So straight he went straight-to-video|
Of course, as rational human beings, we know that one man committing mass genocide in one theatre of war is impossible. There are a million factors to consider before charging headlong and all by yourself, at a bunch of guys who want you to co-star with a chair and a butter knife in 8MM 3: FUCK AMERIKA.
|Asalaam wa'alakum. Fuck Amerika. That is all.|
|Ever been so |
|Hothhhhe. Jou ma thhhhe poethhhhe!|
|I'll fuck you up, yo.|
Now, the Gurkha are a people from Nepal... which is in the Himalayas... which is a snowy-as-fuck cold-assed place... where going for a walk is carrying a Yak up Everest. The Gurkhas, don’t carry Yaks up Everest. No, those tennis-racquet shoe-wearing peeps are the normal people of Nepal and they’re actually pretty timid – practice Hinduism, don’t eat meat, all that hipster shit.
|The hipster-as-hell Nepal Hat. Case rested.|
The Gurkhas, on the other hand are some sort of warrior-caste – like the Samurai of Japan, the Mamluk of Turkey or the Inbred Redkneck of North America. They eat lightning and then piss & shit mayhem & discord wherever they go. One Gurkha is equivalent to a million Black Cats all crossing your path at once before clawing your balls off. As Wikipedia will tell you, a former Chief of staff of the Indian Army, named Sam Manekshaw, once famously said: “if a man says he is not afraid of dying, he is either lying or is a Gurkha.”
|A pack of actual Gurkha. With scouters and battle armour.|
|Any knife shaped like a banana will wreck some shit.|
So as the Nepalese are awesome examples of the human race and the Gurkha in turn, are awesome examples of the Nepalese. Dipprasad Pun is an awesome example of the Gurkha. He’s an elite within an elite within an elite – ELITECEPTION – Oh yes I did.
|The next panel is Cobb with a "Forever Alone" face.|
|Me, myself and I-raq... I mean Afghanistan.|
Yes. He killed THIRTY trained killers in the space of a few minutes! I mean you’d have to be a bad motherfucker of Samuel-L.-Jackson-playing-Jules-in-Pulp-Fiction proportions to even kill 3 guys – let alone thirty. That’s hard to do in a videogame. Fuck, it’s hard to do in a videogame where you play a commando specifically trained to kill Arabs. I get sick when I eat 30 M&Ms - it’s both physically and digitally hard.
|Solid Snake - who's never been impressed in his life - would be impressed.|
|Camel Unfiltered: 'Cos Cancer's the only thing that can kill you.|
To defend some random spot.
In the middle of war-torn Afghanistan.
|What ensued was something out of Metal Slug.|
|I have no rival. No man can be my equal.|
So Mr Pun started taking names. One by one. He used all manner of weapon – from various automatic rifles to grenades to claymore mines – racking up a personal bodycount to match Wolverine. He killed 30 guys. Holy shit! Can you imagine what a bunch of really, REALLY, superstitious and religious guys would dream about after seeing one man slice through their entire squad by himself? If they were asked to picture the devil, they’ll replay an image in their head of a slight Asian man.... BLUDGEONING ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS WITH A GUN TRIPOD.
|Googled "Asian Devil" and got this. Seems legit.|
|Unless the "Tripod" referred to is one of these.|
|Gave that Asian savage a medal. Asian savages love medals.|
|Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.|