Monday, February 27, 2012

2011 in a poem.

Happy New Year Shinobis and Shinobiettes. Let's kick off 2012 with a bit of really bad poetry. Oh and I'm sorry about the delayed first post this year. My entirely made up, fictional excuse is that I was at Ninja Camp.-Ninja K

And the turnout was excellent.
Let's begin...

The first month of twenty ‘leven.
Started work and it was heaven
I also had a blogging notion
Then in Russia, an explosion.

Jokes in bad taste are always better.
President Hosni quit in Feb
(I don’t know what he does instead)
Perhaps he plays and frolics gaily
Perhaps he sucks on penis daily

Hosni Mubarak doorstop... shut up and take my Egyptian pounds.
In March, Japan had a Tsunami
Libya said “Fuck off, Gaddafi.”
Bahrain had a similar thing
It was called “The Arab Spring.”

Arab Fall is when the infidels are destroyed.
In April Kate wed Harry's brother
May she fare better than his mother
And Icke said “burn those royal dregs
Before they lay more fucking eggs.”

Kill it with fire.
In May some crack troops killed Osama
Bush’s ass kicked by Obama
They feared his doctrines, feared his bombs
And sent him off like Megatron

'Cos burying Megatron at sea turned out so well before.
Halfway through the year and “hey yo,
You aint fly ‘nuff for volcanoes.”
Yes, travel plans were soon reneged
And Syria was put to siege.

Because I said SIEGE. And this is a SIEGEtank in SIEGEmode. My work here is done.
NASA had its last space flight
And the world its first stem cell windpipe
Floods then hit the Land of Thai
So ladyboys died in July

Find their bodies. Burn them.
Ah yes my birthday comes at last
And water was found upon Mars
Gadaffi’s rule (way overblown)
Was whittled down and overthrown

Fucking bastard, Wait. This is Pele... I mean Messi. JOHN TRAVOLTA!
September I got so betrothed
Wallstreet occupied and trolled
We also lost THE Spartacus
Andy Whitefield will be missed
October marked more tragic loss
When Apple lost their famed iBoss
The 7 billion mark was breached
Gaddafi’s end was finally reached

The difference between fucked and screwed.
Then we launched another rover
Off to Mars, just to pop over
Gamers found a source of glee
By taking Skyrim to the knee
December saw the end of war
The Gulf was free of the yanks once more
Somoa said “We’ll drop a day!”
And “World don’t end next year!” We prayed

There’s those we lost in twenty ‘leven
Amy joined Club 27
Gary Speed, a football god
A G-funk legend called Nate Dogg

Legend #2
And bad news, morons, scams, pop songs?
You can be sure I’ll “write” those wrongs
As in awesome we shall delve
And break some balls in 2012.