Happy New Year Shinobis and Shinobiettes. Let's kick off 2012 with a bit of really bad poetry. Oh and I'm sorry about the delayed first post this year. My entirely made up, fictional excuse is that I was at Ninja Camp.-Ninja K
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| And the turnout was excellent. |
Let's begin...
The first month of twenty ‘leven.
Started work and it was heaven
I also had a blogging notion
Then in Russia, an explosion.
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| Jokes in bad taste are always better. |
President Hosni quit in Feb
(I don’t know what he does instead)
Perhaps he plays and frolics gaily
Perhaps he sucks on penis daily
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| Hosni Mubarak doorstop... shut up and take my Egyptian pounds. |
In March, Japan had a Tsunami
Libya said “Fuck off, Gaddafi.”
Bahrain had a similar thing
It was called “The Arab Spring.”
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| Arab Fall is when the infidels are destroyed. |
In April Kate wed Harry's brother
May she fare better than his mother
And Icke said “burn those royal dregs
Before they lay more fucking eggs.”
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| Kill it with fire. |
In May some crack troops killed Osama
Bush’s ass kicked by Obama
They feared his doctrines, feared his bombs
And sent him off like Megatron
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| 'Cos burying Megatron at sea turned out so well before. |
Halfway through the year and “hey yo,
You aint fly ‘nuff for volcanoes.”
Yes, travel plans were soon reneged
And Syria was put to siege.
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| Because I said SIEGE. And this is a SIEGEtank in SIEGEmode. My work here is done. |
NASA had its last space flight
And the world its first stem cell windpipe
Floods then hit the Land of Thai
So ladyboys died in July
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| Find their bodies. Burn them. |
Ah yes my birthday comes at last
And water was found upon Mars
Gadaffi’s rule (way overblown)
Was whittled down and overthrown
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| Fucking bastard, Wait. This is Pele... I mean Messi. JOHN TRAVOLTA! |
September I got so betrothed
Wallstreet occupied and trolled
We also lost THE Spartacus
Andy Whitefield will be missed
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| Legend. |
October marked more tragic loss
When Apple lost their famed iBoss
The 7 billion mark was breached
Gaddafi’s end was finally reached
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| The difference between fucked and screwed. |
Then we launched another rover
Off to Mars, just to pop over
Gamers found a source of glee
By taking Skyrim to the knee
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| Exactly. |
December saw the end of war
The Gulf was free of the yanks once more
Somoa said “We’ll drop a day!”
And “World don’t end next year!” We prayed
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| Lolno. |
There’s those we lost in twenty ‘leven
Amy joined Club 27
Gary Speed, a football god
A G-funk legend called Nate Dogg
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| Legend #2 |
And bad news, morons, scams, pop songs?
You can be sure I’ll “write” those wrongs
As in awesome we shall delve
And break some balls in 2012.
Potato.
